We've waited long enough
by Kathryn Lucas
Summary: Set during 'timeless' When Kathryn and Chakotay were sharing dinner in her quarters, what was she really talking about?


**'We've waited long enough'**

**By Kathryn Lucas**

Summary - When Kathryn and Chakotay were sharing dinner in her quarters, what was she really talking about?

Rating - PG

Spoilers - Timeless

Disclaimer - Paramount owns them…yadda yadda yadda

**'We've waited long enough'**

**By Kathryn Lucas**

I have waited for this for years, it seems almost surreal, that the moment is so close after so much anticipation. I am setting the table, placing candles around the room, trying to get the mood just right. I don't want to scare him. But I know he feels the way I do. I hope he knows that the reason I have pushed him away time and time again is because of the mission, because of the command and because getting the crew home mattered so much.

But now all that has changed. This is it, we are going home in the morning. After so much time putting the ship and crew's needs and desires above my own, the chance to admit to myself and to him how I truly feel lies only a day away.

On New Earth, he made such an admission to me, he had cloaked it in a legend, but could not prevent the truth from shining from his eyes as he spoke. At the time I had thought we had time, time to grow together to build a life by each other's sides. But as it turned out, Voyager's needs became my……..our responsibility again.

Not that I would have it any other way. I feel a fierce loyalty to this crew, who have always demonstrated to me that they feel the same. I made a promise that I would get them home and if it takes my dying breath I'll do it. I love the crew as a family and I will do anything to protect them, and help them. I have always wanted a life in the stars, and as much as I hate being so far from home, I treasure the chance to explore in a way most captains in starfleet never do. The truly unknown.

The door chime sounds and I feel by breath catch in my throat. I shake my head and try to get myself under control. I am going to take this slow and easy. If we get home tomorrow I am going to tell him exactly how I feel. Deep inside me is a terrible fear that he doesn't feel the same anymore. That I have pushed him away one to many times and he has long since moved on from his feelings for me. There was a time, back when we were dealing with the borg, when I thought we had lost out closeness that he had decided to give up on me. But lately, we have been closer again. He was the one who came and saved me from myself in the void. He weathered a lot of hurt from me, I turned from his comfort on a lot of occasions as he tried to help me. But eventually I gave into the inevitability of needing his shoulder to cry on. And I had allowed myself to depend upon him utterly. And I know he needs me, not that he turns to me much, always concerned with my burden. Helping me. I'm hoping that we can reach a point when we are there for each other.

If….When, we get home..tomorrow. God, to think we are so close to earth sends shivers through my spine. There is going to be a lot of upheaval, I need to know that he'll be there for me and let me be there for him. This is our chance to be happy. And I'm so scared that we might miss it if we don't take care.

So I have prepared this dinner, the candle light, the music to try and let him know that this might be our last night of waiting. He walks in, I can see he is surprised at the layout of the room.

"But I thought you called me here to talk about the slipstream drive?" he asks smiling

"No reason to cancel our dinner plans, tonight is a special occasion." I try to keep my voice light.

"Oh?" He asks an eyebrow raised in a question. A playful expression on his lips.

"Our last night in the Delta Quadrant. I'd say that's special enough." I say and study his face as he reacts.

"You've made your decision," Is all he says. He doesn't seem to elated.

I take a breath. "We launch tomorrow at 0800. You and Harry will take the Delta Flyer. Voyager will be right behind you." I search his eyes for some emotion. This is the news we have been waiting for, for years.

"The crew will be pleased," he finally answered.

I wait for him to go on. I trust his judgement, as I have told him, more than anyone's. I know he has reasons for being wary.

"I've analyzed the data," he said. "The theory is sound, but there are just too many variables. If something happens..." He trails out, not needing to go into details about just what could happen, if things go wrong.

"It may be our only chance to use the drive." I say trying to convince him, or maybe myself, that this is the right decision.

"True, but if we showed this data to any Starfleet engineers, they'd think we were out of our minds. We'll find another way home. We've waited this long--"

"Long enough," I say sharply.

Something in me has snapped. I have waited years for this, I am fed up of denying how I feel. I want to tell this man I love him. I want to be able to be with him. To have responsibility and duty lifted from my shoulders and finally be able to be happy. Truly happy. He wants and needs that too. And we have been holding out for this, our chance for so long. I don't want to wait anymore.

"We've waited long enough." I say hoping he understands the meaning behind my words. I look intently at his face and see the understanding in his eyes.

"Yes, it's a risk--our biggest risk yet--but I'm willing to take it." I say softly "Are you with me?"

"Always." He says without hesitation. And I know. That he understands, that he feels the same. And that he will wait until the time is right for us to be together. Whether it be tomorrow, as I dearly hope, or fifty years from now. I let that feeling wash over me for a second. Then I stand and walk over to him.

"Speaking of risks..." I say slowly "...are you ready to try some home cooking?"

"I'll alert Sickbay." He says with a grin which makes me knees weak. I put out my hand and touch his cheek for a moment. And our eyes lock. I am overwhelmed by the emotions which I can almost feel passing between us. I pull my hand away. And walk over to fetch the dished. Resisting the temptation to take him in my arms and kiss him.

It's not tomorrow yet.

THE END!

Please let me know what you thought. I love feedback. not sure I can define parameters. But I can tell you a story, an ancient legend among my people. It's about an Angry Warrior who lived his life, in conflict with the rest of his tribe. A man who couldn't find peace even with the help of his Spirit Guide. For years he struggled with his discontent. But the only satisfaction he ever got came when he was in battle. This made him a hero among his tribe, but the warrior still yearned for peace within himself. One day he and his war party were captured by a neighbouring tribe, led by a Woman Warrior. She called on him to join her, because her tribe was too small to defend itself from all its enemies. The Woman Warrior was brave and beautiful and very wise. The Angry Warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter. From that point on, her needs would come first. And in that way the Warrior began to know the true meaning of peace."

Chakotay 'Resolutions'


End file.
